


Indigo

by Everydayishark



Series: Rainbow of Death [8]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 14:12:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12110463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Everydayishark/pseuds/Everydayishark
Summary: Maybe that’s when he should’ve known.Maybe that’s when he should’ve known it could never work out between them.Because he dated a man who cared if a note was blue or indigo, but not if he stayed or went.





	Indigo

He had expected pain, tears, anger.

And there was some of that, at first.

But all of that passed, as the weeks went by.

He hadn’t expected the emptiness, the swirling nothingness inside of him. It was a void that only _he_ could fill.

(And now he was gone.)

Minhyuk hated the emptiness. It would’ve been better if he had cheated on him. At least he could be angry, then. It would’ve been better if he had been mean. It would’ve been better if he had been bad to him.

(But he wasn’t.)

(Of course he wasn’t.)

Their love just fizzled out, slowly but surely. Stuck in a life of domestic routine.

Minhyuk wasn’t sure when he first started to feel unhappy. He had always been so happy around Hyunwoo, even before they started dating. They were so different, but something about Hyunwoo always put a smile on his face (and a story on his lips).

He felt comfortable around him. Everything between them was—comfortable. Safe.

(Hyunwoo never challenged him. He was like a big, harmless puppy around Minhyuk. He loved him—unconditionally.)

He filled the space in his life he didn’t even know he was missing.

(And now it was—a big, gaping hole, where he used to be.)

It would’ve been better if they had argued a lot.

(It would’ve been better if he had fought for it)

Instead, he just rolled over and let it die.

(Because that’s what he wanted. Because that’s what Minhyuk said he wanted.)

Those sad puppy eyes shattered every last bit of composure Minhyuk had mustered up. He knew he was breaking his heart. He knew Hyunwoo didn’t feel the same. (He would love him. He would always love him.)

Hyunwoo stayed calm. (He always did)

He rarely ever showed his emotions, and his face was blank aside from those god forsaken sad eyes when Minhyuk told him they should end it.

(Minhyuk wondered if he cried, afterwards, or ever at all.)

Hyunwoo didn’t say much. (“If that’s what you want…”)

And it’s what he wanted.

He put all of his keepsakes in a box. It had to go. Everything that reminded him of Hyunwoo. It had been a few weeks since their break up. He had expected to feel sadder. Instead he felt just numb.

(He held a small, blue note in his hands. A long time ago, he had scribbled “Do you love me?” on it. Hyunwoo had circled _yes_. He had also later told him the note was indigo, not blue. “Does it matter?” Minhyuk laughed. “Yes, it does to me.” Hyunwoo answered, dead serious.)

Maybe that’s when he should’ve known.

Maybe that’s when he should’ve known it could never work out between them.

Because he dated a man who cared if a note was blue or indigo, but not if he stayed or went.

(Or maybe he just cared too much. About everything. About _him._ )

And Minhyuk didn’t care enough. Or maybe he did.

(It felt empty, and strange, and surreal. He couldn’t remember a time where he wasn’t there, next to him. )

Yet it had been his decision, and there was no going back. Maybe it had been wrong, or maybe it had been right.

He watched him walk away, those broad shoulders that had always supported him, hunched, steps dragging (looking all too much like a kicked puppy), and for a moment he wished he could take it all back.

(But he can’t)

(He couldn’t)

This is what he wanted, wasn’t it?

……

Wasn’t it…..?

**Author's Note:**

> last fic in this series.  
> sorry if it's a little disjointed I am rusty.
> 
> (also working through my own break up)  
> IF I SUFFER SHOWHYUK SUFFERS WITH ME those are the rules haha


End file.
